2019 hasn't been the best year. 2018 wasn't very good, either. I've soul searched lately, trying to figure out exactly what I want to do with this year and this blog, and I've decided to just keep trucking - only for real this time.
I've said "I'll be back!" in the past. Honestly? I've always had every intention of coming back. This blog has been a lot of things over the years - 8 to be exact! - but it's mostly centered on beauty. Am I as into beauty as I used to be? Not really, ya know. Maybe I've "outgrown" it, or maybe I just lost interest.
What I do know is that I had planned this comeback over a month ago. But then something happened.
We lost our dog after over a year-long battle with protein-losing enteropathy. My dog, my Clark Kent, was my best friend. He was only 6 1/2 years old when we lost him, and I don't think I will ever be the same. We just didn't have enough time with him. My heart is completely shattered.
It's been just over a month, and I still have trouble talking about him. Even as I sit here typing this, my eyes are filled with tears. I didn't think we'd have to deal with losing him so soon, and I'm gutted that I couldn't fix him. We tried everything we possibly could. But his little body was just worn out from fighting.
His last day was filled with love, snuggles, cuddles and chicken nuggets - the latter he wasn't allowed to have because of his protein-losing enteropathy. In PLE, fat is the enemy. So this was an especially nice treat for him. Unfortunately, having to limit his fat intake really took a toll on his little body, and he lost so much weight. Due to the medications, he lost a lot of muscle mass. The entire journey aged him. It wore him out.
I miss him every day. Every day when I get home from work, there's no one there to greet me. I miss the sound of his little tags clinking together as he bounced around the house. I miss him snuggling up against me, laying his head up on my lap or my legs when I would sit down on the couch. I just miss him.
I wonder if I'll be ready to get another dog one day. Right now I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.
Now that I'm grieving, I need an outlet. I plan to throw myself into this blog. And into Camp NaNoWiMo. Expect lots of updates about my writing, books, my travels... and beauty. I can't give it up entirely, now can I?
**DISCLAIMER** I was not paid for this review by anyone. I either purchased these products myself or was given it as a gift. Affiliate links are to Amazon.com.